


Still Hurting

by lipstickandwifi



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, F/M, this is what happens when you listen to sad musical theater songs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 04:32:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5898400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lipstickandwifi/pseuds/lipstickandwifi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My view of the breakup inspired by the song from "The Last Five Years"; Felicity's POV; some small liberties with canon are taken</p>
            </blockquote>





	Still Hurting

He had a son. More importantly, he knew he had a son and he had lied to her for months. They were planning on saying vows to stay true to each other for the rest of their lives and he had an entire secret side life that she didn’t even know about. The worst thing was that Felicity would never have known, she never would have guessed this was what was bothering him when they were in Central City. Even this morning when her father, which to be honest she still was not used to saying, dropped this bombshell on her, she didn’t believe him. After all, he was a freaking supervillain with a lame self-appointed codename and everything. That’s why she had done my usual discreet digging on Samantha Clayton and her son William, and it was all right there. With unshed tears in her eyes, Felicity saw the truth plain as day on her monitors. Even if he didn’t look just like a mini-Oliver, the timing was right. He was born right during those philandering Ollie-days which Felicity usually tried to not dwell on, and to top it all off there was an invoice the accounts for Tempest, the unofficial fake company for Moira Queen shadiness. Her and Oliver had fought so hard to get to where they are, but did anything really change? It didn’t seem like it because Felicity was once again getting hurt by Oliver dealing with his past and his problems alone. With this lie, she was questioning everything. All of these thoughts and emotions were swirling in Felicity’s mind to the point that she didn’t even notice Oliver arrive in the lair or when he stopped in his tracks upon seeing the computer screens.

“Felicity, you have to know! I wanted to tell you bu— “ he exclaimed with his voice laced with panic.

“But what, Oliver?!? What could possibly prevent you from telling me,” she paused with a deep breath trying to regain some of her composure so the floodgates of emotion wouldn’t open, “your FIANCÉ, that you have a SON?”

“Samantha would only let me see him—let me get to know my son— unless I told absolutely no one. I had to Felicity!” he cried desperately.

Felicity sighed deeply with eyes shut tight and hands wrenched dreadfully trying to keep herself together and process everything. Her world was crashing around her. Despite there being an infinitesimal amount of comfort derived from actually being able to understand his thought process now, it still wasn’t okay. He was still her partner in everything and he had lied to her for months. All of that supposed change was all for naught. In that moment, the storm of emotions, insecurities, and thoughts calmed within her. She was once again on the sidelines, still hurting. He had left her once again with an emotional scar she did nothing to earn, but hurt far worse than any of the ones she received from a bullet. It was not okay and her heart was shattering, but now on the outside there was just an uneasy stillness.

“Talk to me, Felicity. Please.” Oliver quietly begged.

“Okay, Oliver, you want me to talk? Then I’m going to talk, but that means it’s my turn and you just listen.“ Felicity paused with a low and rueful chuckle, “Did you that I almost moved out of this city two years ago? Yeah, I told you I was visiting Barry in the hospital even though I hadn’t done that for weeks. I actually took a job interview at Wayne Enterprises in Gotham, and it wasn’t because I hated being an executive assistant, even though I totally did. No, it wasn’t that. I had finally started truly accepting that I loved you— _so much_. That’s why I opened up to you about my dad and how positively terrified I was of losing you. And when you promised me with such conviction that I wouldn’t lose you, I couldn’t help but get an inkling for the first time ever that _maybe_ , just maybe, you might have feelings for me too. That you meant me when you said you couldn’t be with someone you cared about. And what did you do with that promise? You slept with Sara and flaunted that relationship right in my face. I’m know you didn’t mean to hurt me, but you did. I was alone on the sidelines in the wake of your destruction. So I took that job interview, because it hurt too much to see you destroying that promise. In the end, the importance of what we do for this city combined with naïve hope made me stay where countless other times you hurt me and cast me aside to deal with your problems alone. We’ve already discussed how idiotic and harmful your choices from last year were, and I honestly thought you had grown and accepted me as a part of your life. We were partners, Oliver. We’ve gone through hell together and came out stronger, so you gave me a new promise: for better or for worse.”

At this point Felicity’s composure was breaking. She knew you couldn’t look at Oliver because if she saw the devastation on his face, or she’d lose her nerve. She needed to say this. And so, with her eyes fixated on her lap as she absentmindedly twirled her engagement ring around her finger she wearily said: “And what did you do with that promise, Oliver? The whole foundation in which we were going to start the rest of their lives is cracked and I’m left still hurting. Was all of the change you made in the past year a lie too? Because this is classic Oliver. You took away my choice. We keep secrets every single day of our lives, Oliver. If you had actually communicated with me, you could have still told me about William and I wouldn’t have told anyone. But, NO! You decided it was your right to decide. You _chose_ to keep this from me and just not deal with it— running away from this like it’s simple. YOU KNEW YOU HAVE A SON AND YOU KEPT IT FROM ME, OLIVER! That’s something that changes everything.” She looked up at him, both of their eyes filled with tears.

“Felicity..” Oliver manically pleaded.

“Oliver, please let me finish.” She said firmly. “Telling me shouldn’t have been a burden, it should have been a relief. You promised we’d be in this together for better or for worse and you _destroyed_ that. You obviously don’t want to share your life, all of it the good and the bad, with me.”

Through his devastated sobs, Oliver desperately cried, “Felicity, you have to know that’s not true. I LOVE YOU!”

With a sad smile she replied, “But not enough to let me in completely and be honest with me. I can’t trust that you’ll not destroy every promise you make to me. I do not want to be a woman that marries someone who isn’t honest with them. So I’m going to do what I didn’t have the strength to do two years ago.”

As Felicity began to remove the ring from her finger, Oliver’s eyes grew wide with panic as his hands shot out to grasp hers.

“Felicity! Please! I don’t care if it takes me the rest of my life to make this up to you, I’ll do whatever it takes. I’m begging you. Don’t leave me.” Resting her forehead on his, one final tear fell down Felicity’s cheek. She leaned down and pressed a mournful kiss on the back of his hand as she enclosed the ring with fingers.

And once she backed away from him, with her voice raw, she quietly said:

“It’s over. Goodbye, Oliver.”

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I don't own Arrow or we wouldn't be dealing with this stupid secret kid plotline in the first place.
> 
> I hadn't written fic in a really long time, but I literally woke up in the middle of the night with this angst that needed to be shared with y'all. I hope you enjoyed the feels trip. Reviews are alway appreciated.


End file.
